: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
