I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
50% drunk capacity currently
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
