I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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