You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
