it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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