Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
