I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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