There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
