In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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