six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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