Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
