I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
