it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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