Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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