A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
