Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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