It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
