We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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