Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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