when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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