Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
