Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
