His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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