Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
