i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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