you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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