I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
