Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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