please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
