Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
