..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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