You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
