I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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