if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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