i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
