You're so nebulous sometimes
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
