pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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