The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
