Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
