i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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