capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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