never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
