4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
