Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
