that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
