i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do you still have your period?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
