im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Randomize
