So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
