well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
