we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
